I'm pretty sad to see how awfully out of shape I look.
Of course that got me thinking too: about not feeling safe in general and needing to be fat in order to feel safe. About food being a substitute for human touch. That eating triggers the same pleasure centers in the brain that sex does (and no, it's not as simple as just having an orgasm). I just read this morning in Science of Mind magazine that unused creative energy can cause anxiety which can then trigger hunger. Makes sense.
But what of all of that? I can't change my husband. I can do more to "create" stuff~~I've always had a lot of creative energy. But pondering why is not the same as changing my habits and getting better and being better and feeling better. I can't allow myself to sit around wallowing in self-pity.